my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
