You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
