So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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