Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
