I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
