That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
