trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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