non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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