So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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