Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
