I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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