you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize