I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
