He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
