the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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