I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
