if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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