just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
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Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
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I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
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