but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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