I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
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Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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