thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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