Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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