and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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