brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
