; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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