My brain says no but my pants say off.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
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Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
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But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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