There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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