Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
