Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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