the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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