I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
