Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
