He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
