The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
