Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This baby is an asshole
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
