GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
