he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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