i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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