we're chasing vodka with high fives
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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