Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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