they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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