K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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