fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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