dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
