i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
