Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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