Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
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ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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