I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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