one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
