Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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