remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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