It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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