Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize