so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
