wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize