singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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