Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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