"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
